"The greatest gift a parent has to give a child - and lover has to give a lover - is emotionally attuned attention and timely responsiveness."
Sue Johnson, Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships
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“Behind every criticism is a longing; behind every anger is a hurt….” (Esther Perel)
And there are a lot of criticisms and hurts right now. You can’t believe you are having the same fight …. again. Or the string of relationship crashes is becoming old. Whatever you are experiencing, it seems all too familiar. We are wired for connection but as they say “it’s complicated”. We bring with us all our own experiences in attachment from childhood and earlier relationships. You long for a safe base and a secure haven, for connection either with your parent, child or partner. Loneliness and conflict don’t have to be your life story. Connection and peace are possible.
Relationship therapy can help you find that connection you long for by:
Understanding your own attachment history, the “dance” you do when you feel like your needs don’t matter or you don’t matter
Learn to soothe your fears and concerns so that you can share the needs that are under the surface of most conflicts in healthier ways
Learn about the common communication pitfalls in relationships and skills to build up your “emotional bank account” so that you can turn toward instead of away from each other when life’s challenges present
Practicing all of the above!
Invest in your wellbeing and your future
I’ll work with you through this process, tailoring each step to meet your needs and circumstances. My approach to relationship therapy comes from a belief in attachment theory, specialized approaches such as Emotionally Focussed Therapy for couples and Individuals can help you to take new steps in your attachment dance and build healthier, more responsive relationships.